2+ years later procrastination

Ok, probably going to change the title of this post... no longer am i lamenting... now i'm just dealing. Mom is 87( 88 in August) now and suffers from Lewey Body Dementia... The disease is a result of brain activity/tissue death from TIA's. I'm having a much easier time with it all since I totally changed my attitude. I am preparing her food 2x a day; dispensing her pills; taking her to the doc when needed; taking her to visit friends; offering to take her as many places as she wants to go. She is still nasty and thinks I'm stealing from her, but it's easy to see it as the progression of the disease at this point. There's nothing I can do about it and that's ok. I just take it day by day. I no longer can work, which is fine too, because I can't leave Mom alone, as she has already tried to leave the house to go to school.

But I do want to take this opportunity to talk out my issues with procrastination of mundane commitments. For example, I have big issues trying to get the bills paid every month even if the money's available. I can't stand opening the mail and having to deal with the "corporate" world. I dread it, put it off and end up paying them more money as a result of my "issues." So I have to ask... why am I like this? It's non productive! Not to mention that it casts a pall on my psychological well being.... I don't want to worry, but I create the situation for worry to thrive. Is it all a distraction? Am I denying responsibility... well, it's responsibility that i NEVER wanted... I really think that it goes back to my very early perceptions of "life." When I found out all the stuff you had to do to in order to live and pay bills and such, I was less than enthused about it all. And it still hits me the same way, but now I've taken it to a level that's causing me stress... not good... I have to think on this more, but for now, I have to go pay some bills or I'll be paying late charges!